We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
