it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
