ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
