Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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