This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
