Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
