Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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