You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
