All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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