Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
