Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize