walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
