after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize