my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
