Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
