She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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