me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
