3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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