That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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