so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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