is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize
