it's too hot outside to masturbate.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
