oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
