Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Randomize
