Define "chronic" masturbator.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
