I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Randomize
