hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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