dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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