i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
