I think scott just propositioned me for sex
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
