put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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