In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
If that was your dad, he is hot
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize