Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
She just used a chaser for red wine.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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