I seem to have left my pride at pride
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize