My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
