OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
