She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
