You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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