quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
