that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
