I CAN MOONWALK!
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
