this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
