Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
