i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
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