This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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