Nicole vs. Life
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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