nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Randomize
