let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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