Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
