girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
