Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize