i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
