Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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