What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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