Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
