I just made out with a guy for $7.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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