ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
