the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
