Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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