That's intense
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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