just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
