a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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