I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
