Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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