12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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