do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Randomize
