He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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